Life Goes On...Ready Or Not

Wow, the Junk Jaunt is over. I got rid of a lot of things that I would have otherwise given to the Salvation Army. I was surprised how much money I made....those dollar bills add up fast (about like spending-they go fast). The Salvation Army did get one load before the Junk Jaunt and another load after. This gives you an idea of how much "junk" was in my house. I had previously taken three loads to Goodwill. There is still enough stuff for another Junk Jaunt and several loads for the Salvation Army. Then there's all the "stuff" I've been unable to part with...that will be my spring project. The Junk Jaunt was a lot of work but also a lot of fun. My friend Judy did it at her house and she ended up not putting anything out for sale. Her husband Gene had birdhouses and other things for sale. He also did quite well. Gene and I took all the room so Judy was edged out even if she had wanted to sell things. We had a great time visiting a lot of people from all over Nebraska and a lot of other states. We had about 200 people each day and we weren't even on the main drag or in town. It was a good time.

In the last few weeks I've been trying to get some painting done. I helped Judy and Gene do some painting on their fence, put a coat of primer on my privacy fence and helped Jessica put primer on her deck. Last Wednesday was the last nice day we had (and the first one in a week or more). We have 30 days to get a coat of paint on all this primer. Saturday AM we had 6 inches of snow. This Wednesday is suppose to be 60 but now they're saying 40. I hate to think of having to scrape and repaint all this in the spring.

October 17th I'm headed to Arizona for the winter (with a short trip back for Christmas). After the first snow I am really looking forward to not being here for all the cold weather. The weather is the one thing I won't miss. My friend Crystal will be traveling with me for a short trip. Her first visit to Arizona. It'll be nice to have her with me.

Had a doctor appointment at the oncology center today. For the most part, my numbers are still good. The only bad news (which I just got a phone call about) was my CA125. A month ago my number was unbelievably at 17. Today that number was 72. Quite a jump and of course Dr. Copur immediately started talking about needing chemo immediately. His advice is to have chemo before I go to Arizona. He says I can't wait till December. I told him I would talk to him during my December appointment. The poor man doesn't take no for any answer. A round of chemo takes almost three months and it was two months before I felt human again. Hell, winter would be over and Arizona would be too hot for me then. I didn't think I'd ever make it through the first round and really am not sure I'd make it through another. I don't want to go like that. I'd rather go out kicking than lay down and die.

All that is neither here nor there anyway. I'm going to Arizona for more positive thinking and healing and I'll be feeling better before I know it. Looking forward to seeing the house and getting settled in. Serenity and Jessica will come out in March to visit me. I will probably have separation anxiety over being away from Serenity for so long. She would like to go to Arizona with grandma but Jessica simply says "no". Can you believe how selfish she is? Won't let me take her only child away from her. I'm sure there'll be lots of phone calls and letters.

If I blogged everyday, like I always intend, I wouldn't have such long blogs. I'll have to work on that. I really don't use my time as wisely as I should. You would think that a terminal diagnosis would teach you to make better use of your time. Unfortunately, or fortunately, life goes on. We keep living each day and doing what we need to do as things pop up. Of course all the time in the back of your head is the thought that "I really don't have time for this" because I have so many other things I need to be getting done. We do what we have to do and appreciate being able to have time to do the things we just "want to do". Quite often I feel guilty because I'm sure God has given me this extra time to do something meaningful. I still don't know what that is. He must be getting impatient with me my now. Wondering if I'll ever "get" it. I keep waiting for him to show me the way but I guess I haven't "seen the light" yet. Of course there is always the possibility that I am doing what God put me here for. Not everyone can be a great unforgettable person and "Mother Liz" really doesn't have the sound of Mother Theresa.

Blessings to all!