Happiness

A nice quote sent to me by my niece Jenifer:

"Happiness.....
not in another place, but this place...
not for another hour, but this hour"

How great life would be if we could all hold onto this!

Grandchildren

Serenity spent the weekend with me again. She is such a joy and keeps me plugging away. She goes non stop from the time she wakes until she passes out at night. Constantly playing, dancing, singing, making things with everything she can find laying around, making up stories and drawing pictures. She is such a joy and I thank God everyday for my family.

One of my "newest" grandchildren is Quinn. Quinn is 7 years old and has autism. This precious little boy is so loving and tender. He has an angel face and a loving heart. I think part of what makes Quinn so extra special and lovable is he isn't touched by all the things that shape the rest of us. He won't learn to play the "games" people play or learn the prejudices. He just holds love in his heart.

Please take a moment to watch the video Quinn's mother made to honor this wonderful child.

Blessings

Man Hunt

I got this poem in an email many years ago. I'm not looking for a man but, I still posted it on my refrigerator just to remind me to laugh each day. It is nonsense but I found it quite enjoyable. Hope you equally enjoy it.

WOMAN'S LOVE POEM
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong,
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed,
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my best friend.

MAN'S LOVE POEM
I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with
huge boobs who owns a bar on a golf course,
and loves to send me fishing and hunting.
This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a sh__.

Author Unknown

Blessings to everyone looking for a man!

Another Brother of a Different Color

My brother Rex is 2 1/2 years younger than me. We were adopted together when he was four. We use to be very close. He now lives in Texas and I haven't seen him in 12 years. Actually, I hadn't even spoken to him for eleven years. Twelve years ago we buried our adopted father and it was a very sad time for both of us. When we were very young Rex thought of me more as a mother than a sister. Our adopted mother had a difficult time with this. She felt (and rightfully so) that he should go to her and not me. I was very protective of him and felt he was my responsibility. The thing our new mother felt was most unsettling was the fact that we talked about our past (pre-adoption days) and she felt that Rex was young enough to forget our past if I would let him. The truth is she was right (once again). I don't know why we had the need to talk about these things or maybe it was me and he was the only one I had a connection with and felt I could talk with. It was probably the later. It always seemed like we were two lost souls and we never knew for sure which way to turn. We trusted no one and we confided in no one but each other. That did change in time but for me it was a very long time coming. I hope my mother understood that I was just a child myself and didn't know any better. I hope my brother knows that I always wanted the best for him.

When we were young, we weren't allowed junk food. Occasionally our mother would let us have a TastyKake lemon pie that she had stashed away for my dad's lunch. Anytime we are back on the east coast we look for one of these pies. During my last visit I purchased four for my brother Rex. My sister in law, Joanne mailed them to him for me. He emailed me that he went home from work the day after he got them and set down and ate all four with a big glass of milk. I hope this brought back some fond memories for him. I love him and my other two brothers very much and I want them to remember how important they are to me. Blessings

Confucius Say...

I enjoy reading quotes that speak to me. This is one of my favorites and I try very hard to listen to it. Sometimes I don't listen as well as others and for those times I apologize.

Speak only well of people and you need never whisper.
Confucius

Blessings

Maxine-isms

After the last few blogs, I feel it's time to lighten up a little. Many of you may know that I enjoy the comedy of Maxine. Sometimes she says the things I can't get away with. She may just be a "crabby old bitch" but I love her "no nonsense" outlook on the way life is.....so here we go....

Maxine says: "My bra is more of a cross your waist"

Raw Vegan Virgo

On Tuesday, March 14th I had the pleasure of meeting Dr. Lilli Link. It was a beautiful day and as a believer in "signs" I took this as a sign of goods things ahead. I was not to be disappointed. Dr. Link is a patient and gracious lady who answered all my unanswered questions about "diet" to help in my campaign against cancer cells. After much internet research, reading many books and talking to every Tom, Dick and Harry, I was concerned about a lot of the discrepancy in diet and supplements. Supplements were a huge concern since some instructions seem to require so many. I felt I needed some personal guidance if for no other reason than to give me the confidence to feel like I had an inkling of an idea about where I was headed. It's a big scary world out there in the natural healing "black hole". When putting your life in your own hands you want to feel like you have done the best job possible. Dr. Link was very self assured and had a very positive attitude. As a professional she didn't put anyone down or discredit any ideas as hog wash. She discussed what she knew to be tried and proven and made the whole process seem so much easier. She instilled the importance of the dedication this plan was going to take and the importance of making a plan and sticking with one plan. While the plan she suggested was strict it also seemed much easier then many I have seen. By easy I mean in terms of planning and time requirements. This is something I know I can do. I love my food but I love my life and body more. Thank goodness I have always preferred my vegetables raw and not cooked and I have always been a big salad lover. I'm hoping this will make my journey alot smoother. Like the little red engine...I think I can. I think I can. I know I can! I know I can!

I found Dr. Link on the Crazy Sexy Cancer/Crazy Sexy Life website. She is a licensed internist who became a nutritionist after having uterine cancer 10 years ago. I felt God had guided me to her to help me. I have always been one of those people who just blindly trusted my doctor. I always asked lots of questions but I never questioned or doubted the answers. I have come a long way since then. I realize we must all be responsible for being pro-active in our own health care. I now know to research anyway possible everything I hear or think. I have no conspiracy theory belief in doctors and health care (until proven otherwise). I believe doctors do their job the best they know how or have been trained to do it. I believe their training may need a shake up. I believe that doctors intend to do the best they can for us. I also believe there are many doctors who are overworked and stretched too thin. I know there are many people who will think I must be a totally naive person. I believe many well meaning doctors, in the interest of honesty, do not give us the positive reinforcement we need even while trying to give us hope. The truth is it is our own responsibility to give ourselves the hope and positive reinforcement we seek and so desperately need. Faith in God makes me believe in the best in man.

I would like to thank Dr. Link for her kindness and care. I hope to be singing her graces for a long time. Shortly I'll be starting my raw green diet. Along with my vitamins, colonics, proper breathing, exercise, spiritual guidance and Dr. Porman's care, I am hoping to do what the traditional doctor's tell me can't be done. God willing, I will be here for a long time to come.
I'll keep you posted on this journey. Blessings to all.

Up, Up and Away

A post script to yesterday's blog: My daughter Jessica just told me that Serenity informed her that she thought we were going to change planes in the sky and she wondered how we were going to jump from one plane to the other in the air. Out of the mouths of babes. It never occurred to me to explain the plane change to her. I can totally understand how she would think this. Now I understand why she insisted on the prayer on the plane that we would get to New Jersey safely. It maybe also explains her comment about flying two planes in one day as "unbelievable". I think this speaks volumes regarding Serenity's trust in Grandma. I pray I'll never let her down. I said she was a trooper and I think this proves it. Jessica asked Serenity if she could imagine Grandma jumping from the plane and she said NO!

I better rethink the sky diving!

Blessings

You Can Never Go Home Again

Wow, what a trip. More excitement then an old lady should handle. It'll take a little time to calm down after this trip. My family is originally from Maryland but my brother Ken lives in Pennsylvania and my brother John and his family live in New Jersey as does my mom and two aunts. My mom, two brothers and my beautiful nieces pooled funds to pay for this trip. Serenity and I are very grateful to them for this wonderful opportunity. I think this is a time Serenity will never forget. Her second cousins played with her endlessly. She met so many family members she couldn't possibly remember them all. Thank goodness for the wonderful pictures my niece Jenifer took. She is a professional photographer. Jenifer compiled a pictorial history of our visit. Serenity will have this to relive the great time she had (and so will I).

We arrived in New Jersey a little after midnight on Sunday the 15th. As we came off the plane I could see my mother first, my brother John was about 8 feet to her left. I truly don't think either one of them recognized me. It was so good to see them. In a strange way I felt like I was going home even though I have never lived in New Jersey and did not grow up with either one of them. Serenity was just excited because she rode on two planes in one day. She said that was "unbelievable". Serenity took to Uncle John right away (he's actually her great uncle). It's funny how kids know who they can trust.

By Sunday Serenity was warming up to great grandma. My nieces, Cindy and Jenifer came over and spent the better part of the afternoon and early evening "playing" with Serenity. They had a great time together. She warmed up to them in a matter of seconds. She really does better with adults than children. I think this is because she has spent most of her time with adults. My mother and I were able to visit one on one most of the day.

Monday afternoon we had the pleasure of meeting two of my aunts who I hadn't seen in 51 years. Aunt Irene was 21 and Aunt Betty was 18 when I was adopted. I actually saw my Aunt Irene about 12 years ago for about 30 seconds. She worked in a toll booth on the New Jersey Turnpike. My mother was the first of 9 children. I remember her sisters as a child but I couldn't tell you who was who or what their names were. It seemed like there were always so many people living in my Grandfather's house I did't even remember that my mother had only two brothers. I just knew there was a hugh family. My grandparents still had young kids at home. My Aunt Dot was the youngest and she was one month short of her 5th birthday when I was born. About the time my Grandmother stopped having babies, her children started having them.
On Tuesday my brother John took me to Manhattan, New York for my appoinment with Dr. Lilli Link. Serenity and my mother went along. Dr. Link said it was the largest group she'd had at an appointment. She took it very well. I appreciate her graciousness. As usual, Serenity was a little lady. More about this appointment later. New York never changes. No parking or lots of illegal parking that people use and you have to decide if you can take the chance or if you're willing to pay the ticket. We did get soft pretzels on a corner (on my agenda) and enjoyed them in the car to avoid an expensive ticket. We planned to eat lunch in the city but we put it to a vote and Serenity and Great Grandma didn't want to park illegally. Also on my agenda was taking Serenity to the Statue of Liberty. We did get a quick glance of it but Serenity was sleeping in the back seat. The statue still puts a lump in my throat. The tunnels hadn't changed a bit. I would love to visit the museum at Ellis Island some day. That'll be on the agenda for another visit. We ended going to Red Bank in New Jersey and eating at The Brothers. Awesome pasta was consumed by Serenity and Grandma. Thank goodness we decided to share....One plate was enough for four people. Cindy came over that evening and played endlessly with Serenity.

Wednesday brought Aunt Irene and Aunt Betty back for another pleasurable visit. More kitchen table chitter chatter. It was so much fun getting to know these ladies. I didn't want our visits to stop. I had so many questions I would love to ask but was very careful what I said so as not to get my mother into a "mood". We looked at my mother's collection of photos and I was told who everyone was and many stories. Cindy and Jenifer took Serenity to Patriot's Park to play like three little girls on holiday. Jenifer took lots of photos and they said Serenity took about 500 pictures. She loves clicking a camera. John and Joann met the girls at the park and came back to mom's. Joann and the girls fixed dinner for us, flavorful roasted chicken and fixings. By the time I got home I had gained 7 pounds. Wouldn't want to do that every week.

Thursday brought more extended chitter chatter with "The Aunts". I enjoy them so. My mother is so lucky to have these ladies to spend her time with. Too bad she probably doesn't properly appreciate them. I say that not to be negative but I know how she is. I gave her the "life's too short" lecture but she could care less. She needs to learn some forgiveness and let go. They have obviously learned to forgive her. That evening my brother Ken and his girlfriend Joyce came from Pennsylvania to visit. This called for seconds on the chicken dinner which was as good the second time around. I was very excited to see Ken but knew there wouldn't be much one on one as Ken is my mother's son and is not very demonstrative. I still enjoyed the time we were able to spend together. Joyce is a wonderful person and I am so glad Ken has someone to share his life with. I wish my mother could be happy that both my brothers have someone to share their lives with and someone who cares about them. If she had someone maybe she would be a happier person. Cindy showed up loaded with lots of fun with Ms. Serenity. They did crafts for four hours. This exceeds Grandma patience. John and Joanne showed up to join in all the excitement and Jenifer brought her Aunt Patty for a visit. Patty came armed with organic wine that everyone decided wasn't what it was cracked up to be. Patty has spent most of her adult life fighting cancer. She is now on her third campaign. I needed more time to talk with this brave lady. I'm shell shocked from two rounds with one cancer. I can't imagine three rounds of mutiple cancers and still coming up kicking. What a soldier she is.

Friday We woke to a heavy wet snow. By the time we left the house at 11:00 there wasn't one flake left. Ken took us all out to breakfast. We had a wonderful old fashioned breakfast at a quaint little restaurant. I was shocked at the prices. You couldn't eat breakfast here for those prices. We did some organic shopping, went to the health food store where I saw my first "live" wheat grass and stopped by a thrift shop. I wish we had that kind of thrift store here. I could have better furniture because it was much better than Goodwill. Ken pushed Serenity around in the shopping cart. She didn't talk much and of course he didn't either. She still seemed to like Great Uncle Ken. Joyce says Serenity is 5 going on 30. I do believe her mind works more like an adults than a lot of adults I know. Great Grandma could learn a few things from this child. After all the shopping we headed to Bricktown to Aunt Irene's house. We picked Aunt Betty up on the way. At Aunt Irene's I got to meet my Uncle Jr. His name is George but everyone calls him Jr. I think Uncle Jr. was disappointed that I didn't remember him. Their daughter Katie and granddaughter Breanna also came to visit. Two more delightful people whom I enjoyed visiting with. I got a chance to see their family photos. Lots of people hate it when people pull out the photo albums but I have always enjoyed looking at photos. Uncle Jr. took a large number of the White clan and Ken, Joyce, Aunt Betty, my mom, Serenity and I to Charlie Brown's Steak House in Lakewood for dinner. It was an excellent meal with wonderful company and conversation. The filet mignon matched any steak that Nebraska is famous for. Breanna is 12 and we discovered she and Serenity both enjoy dancing. They were each generous with their food. Breanna sharing her pasta with Serenity and Serenity sharing her cheese sticks with Breanna. They are both beautiful young ladies After dinner Serenity was getting up from the table and I asked her where she was going. She informed Grandma that she was going to dance for us. I had to be the bad guy and explain that we were in a public restaurant with lots of other people (it was packed) and she wouldn't be able to dance for us even though I knew everyone would enjoy it. She agreed to dance for us later. It was an enjoyable day and I even forced a goodbye hug from my brother Ken before he headed back home. He acted like it hurt but I know he loves me because he sent me some Protocel for my cancer campaign (I hate to call it a battle so I think "campaign" will suffice).

On Saturday Cindy took me to her house to print our boarding passes. We used this time to break away from Virginia (my mom) for awhile and my brother John's family and Cindy's husband Jerry took us out for lunch. My mother had invited everyone to her house for goodbyes. Cindy, Jenifer and their brother John Paul took Serenity roller skating and the rest of us went back to my mother's. The Aunt's were there and Aunt Irene's daughter Sara and her son AJ were expected. We spent the afternoon talking about nicknames and in general having a good time sharing stories and laughing. If laughter is good then I shouldn't have any cancer cells left. They should all be laughed away. I also used this time to campaign for the CA125 test. I feel obligated to tell everyone how important this cancer cell indicator test is. If this is the reason God has allowed me to still be here I don't want to miss an opportunity to do "my job". While cancer doesn't run in my family, many of the in-laws have had issues with it. The word needs to get out there. My Aunt Irene said she is going to ask her doctor if she should have the test. This is the best early indicator for many types of cancer and we know how important early detection is. Pass along the word. Okay, I'll get off the soap box now. John ordered pizza for everyone for our evening constitution and Serenity decided she didn't like New Jersey pizza. After everyone else left, my mother, Cindy, Jenifer and I had cheesecake and tea (I also tried my first shot of wheat grass). This was a nice quiet wrap up for the week. I must say now that my mother is the only one who didn't show up to say goodbye. She was there in body but after everyone left she once again entered her world of secret agony (self inflected). She choose to go to her room and not come out. It was probably better this way because I wouldn't have been good face to face indulging her self pity. I find it much easier to deal with her over the phone. I love my mother very much. One of my strongest memories was her hugging me the day I was sent away. I can still smell her hair and the feel of it on my cheek. I prefer to remember things like this and forget how she is now. I think she did the best she could and the best she knew how. I believe her own personal demons and guilt have turned her into the person she is today. Seeing her like this is my example not to follow in her footsteps. Tonya says it's a good thing my mother doesn't have a computer...I think she's right!

The perfect wrap up to the longest blog I have written (to date) would be to thank my mother for giving me up for adoption. No matter what the future was to bring, I truly believe that my life would have been a nightmare if I had been raised (and I use the term loosely) by my mother. My only consolation would have been my brothers and maybe life would have been different for them if I had been there for them. I know I would have been a different person than I am today and I can say I like myself today.

Thank you God!

Blessings to all

East Coast Bound

This is the big day. I'll be headed out to pick up my most precious cargo in a little while. She has informed me that she has been practicing carrying her own luggage. She is slightly independent. I wonder where she gets that from?
I won't have internet at my mom's house so I won't post until I return. Hopefully I will have only positive accounts of our trip. I am determined to keep things lite and mellow and bite my tongue when necessary. No one can be more tactful then moi!
Blessings

Two Ladies In Waiting

Serenity and I are both very excited. Our little vacation is getting closer and we are barely able to contain our excitement. My daughter, Jessica, has been checking the forecast to be sure we pack appropriately. Serenity is preparing her Boo Boo Bear for his first airplane ride. Serenity is an old hat at travel. She has gone with us twice to visit her Aunt Tonya in Arizona via airplane.

She thinks she is quite the world traveler especially since her car trip to Texas this summer. There won't be a dull moment with her along. I hope this is a time she will treasure forever.

Love and prayers to all.

Nervous Excitement

In March of 1958 my brother, Rex, and I were adopted. I was 6 1/2 and he had just turned 4. That was 51 years ago this month. In 1993 my brother John who lives in New Jersey was able to perform a miracle and track us down. I had moved to Nebraska about 3 years before and Rex lived in Texas. Rex and I met in St. Louis and flew to New Jersey to meet the family we hadn't seen in 35 years. It was a very exciting time for both of us. My brother John and his family welcomed us with open arms and couldn't have treated us better if they had known us all their lives. My mother was very excited but it would turn out to be a bitter-sweet reunion. Rex stayed for two days and after John and I took him to the airport to fly back home, my mother disappeared. I spent the balance of my two week vacation doing a lot of thinking and soul searching. It was a very sad and disappointing time in my life. As a mother, I could never imagine anything that would let me give up my children and I certainly couldn't imagine giving up the chance to reconnect with them if I had lost them. In my mind I knew it wasn't our fault but in my heart I couldn't help but wonder what we had done to make our mother not want us. Since that visit in 1993 I have been back twice. Both times were to take care of my adopted father who had cancer (my adopted mother passed away when I was 27). My father and I were always very close and no one could have had a better Dad. During this time my visits to my mother were sporadic and short and all went fairly well. That last visit was 12 years ago.


On March 14th, my grand daughter, Serenity and I are going to make a trip. I am taking Serenity to meet my family for the first time. I am crossing my fingers and praying for no histrionics on my mother's part. Prayers are needed

Serenity and I will have a good time and I relish this time with her. She loves her Grandma bunches and needless to say, her grandma loves her with all her heart. Wish us luck.
Blessings to all.

Womanhood

Like all people diagnosed with cancer, the one thing you will never forget is the moment you heard the words "you have cancer". Even if you suspected the worse, you are never prepared for these words. Nothing will ever affect you like this moment. It takes ahold of you and the grip doesn't want to let go. It takes a lot of willpower and positive thinking to keep it from becoming who "you" are. If you can get beyond this grip you can start to live your life again.
The next most profound comment I remember were the words that came out of the mouth of the doctor who did my original surgery. This well meaning gentleman informed me that he was going to remove "all my female organs". Anyone who knows me well enough knows I can be very sarcastic. My first thought was "so you're saying I'll no longer be a woman"? The next time I talked to my brother, John, I informed him that he no longer had a sister but now had three brothers. He didn't think I was very funny. It made sense to me. If the doctor removed all "my female organs" then I must no longer be a woman. Unfortunately, most female cancers attack the female organs. Women do have a difficult time not associating this disease with our "womanhood". Breast cancer has this affect on women and men also have breasts. Of course, the female breasts are more "in your face". (Oops, there went my male hormones working again.) Our bodies and what we have to offer the opposite sex becomes such a big part of who we are. Even in times of womens's liberation these thoughts are so embedded in our psyche it is hard to shake them. We get our heads shaved. We have our parts removed. It's no wonder we feel less than a woman. Hell, if I lost my breast, I'd lose half my body weight. Tell me that wouldn't be noticeable. We must stay on track and remember we are still the same person we always were and probably a better person for our experience. Our soul is still our unique gift.

"I am woman, hear me roar!"

Senior Citizen Discount

Today I went with a friend to Taco Bell. Fast food. Yes I admit it and further more I admit that I didn't have just beans. I had a bean burrito and my favorite, the mexican (can we still say that?) pizza. I was a bad girl. Now I am a stuffed lady. The young man who waited on us was very polite. He was so polite that I didn't have the heart to correct him when he said my total "with the senior discount" was $3.69. Yes, I am hastily approaching that mark but not quite there. Maybe I did the young man an injustice. The next lady he does that to might get a little upset. Maybe it would have been better to hear from me that he should ask before he assumes. Water under the bridge now. This incident reminded me of my last visit to the gyno. I was chatting with the nurse and voiced my disappointment in still having this cancer after thinking for almost 4 years that I was cancer free. The nurse began to sympathize with a talk about how so many people now have HPV and how common it is, it's nothing to be embarassed about and they think it's gone or they got it all and there is a reoccurrance. I was standing there in shock, wondering what she was talking about. I didn't have an HPV cancer. I definitely know about the HPV virus and it's association with certain cancers but since it didn't apply to me I was in shock. Why would she assume that was the case. When I relayed the story to Tonya she indicated I probably should have corrected her so she could learn the importance of not assuming. Someone else might not have taken her comments in stride and obviously a professional person should have been better informed before making such comments. I am human and I know that I myself make assumptions and this makes me more mindful that I need to be more careful. Just random examples of assumptions and human nature. The person I was with is young enough to be my daughter. She couldn't help but laugh about it. What I learned from my "senior discount moment" is...I can easily start blaming my lapses in memory on dementia and give "chemo brain" a break. Blessings

Out of the Mouth of Babes

My 5 year old granddaughter, Serenity, spends lots of weekends with Grandma. She is one of the reasons I fight so hard. I want to be here to watch her grow and I don't want her to only remember Grandma being sick from chemo. Around her 5th birthday, she held the mirror, while they shaved Grandma's hair. She was quite the trooper. She informed me that she wouldn't want to have her head shaved because the other kids would laugh at her. She would call me every morning to ask me how I was feeling. Imagine my surprise when I found out she did this on her own. I assumed her Mom put her up to it. Last night she was saying her prayers. She always says, "Thank you God for the day and all the things like the sun and sky and thank you for all the people". Last night was the first time I heard her say "and thank you God to make my Grandma better". Once I read a piece of framed needlework with the following quote: "I never knew how much love my heart could hold until someone called me grandma". When I became a grandma I totally realized what the saying really meant. God blessed me with the honor of being a grandma and now I have 4 new grandkids to love. Kieran is now a follower on my blog and I want to tell him how special he is. Kieran is a sweet young man who goes out of his way to make me feel loved. My love in turn grows bigger every day. Blessings abound!

Kris Carr - From Crazy Sexy Cancer, to Crazy Sexy Life

She says it with such poise and great words!


TV appearances '07 from Crazy Sexy Life on Vimeo.

a selection of Kris Carr's TV appearances from 2007, including Oprah, Today Show, CBS Evening News with Katie Couric, Mike & Juliet, Montel, and more...

Cleansing the "Soul"?

Colonics: A word that I use to would not say out loud. Now, I not only can say it, but can admit that I recently had one. Not only did I have one but I am looking forward to having another one. Anyone who has suffered from constipation will understand what this is all about. I never understood all the rage about this practice and truly still don't but, I certainly understand the benefits of it. If you have had chronic constipation you know the rewards of bloating, abdominal pain and constant discomfort. The end of January I decided I needed to take the big plunge (no pun intented) and I went to see Susan Neva L.P.N. C.C.T., colon hydrotherapist. After extensive research I came to realize the importance of cleansing our insides. On the way to my appointment, Tonya and I were discussing what type of person would get into this kind of business. My main concern was the person would be qualified. I have become very brazen late in my life so I couldn't resist telling Susan about our conversation. It turns out Susan is another one of the many cancer survivors (colon) that I have had the pleasure to meet. This lady made a very scary thing very easy. She had so much compassion, kindness and understanding. Just talking to her made me feel human and normal. After this procedure I was able to eliminate daily for three weeks. This alone made me feel so much better. I am grateful for so many wonderful people coming into my life. God has given me so many blessings.

Now, here is the pun.....Susan said if anyone ever calls me a tight-a--, it would be the truth. I think it was suppose to be a compliment.

Left Brain-Right Brain?

Dale was watching Card Sharks today and there was a question that went like this:
100 women were asked...if a wealthy older man offered to pay your rent, no strings attached, would you let him? The first contestant said (if memory serves me well-but what are the chances?) she thought 54 women said yes and the other contestant, a man, said he thought it would be a slightly higher number 66. This is my take...I was sure it would be less for the simple fact that we all know women think differently then men. Example: To a woman, no strings attached, means I owe you nothing in return. To a man it means I have the right to attempt to get something in return (after all you should be grateful and therefore obligated). If I am successful then I owe you nothing in return (no committment). Dale agreed with this. I have had more than one dinner with a man who said it was not a date...he was just looking for a friend. Everytime it turned out to be a case of him meaning a friend "with benefits". I read somewhere that men don't waste their time on women they wouldn't want to have a "relationship" with. I believe this is a true and honest statement. This is only an observation, not a criticism. It works out fine as long as we understand each other and know what to expect. :) LOL Liz

Pieces of Our Lives

I am about to wrap up one very little part of my life. Since January of 2005 I have had a part time job as the Executive Director of the Ravenna Area Chamber of Commerce. Even with all the little "tidbits" of stress involved in a position like this, I have really enjoyed this "job". I must say that I have enjoyed it enough that I hate to call it a "job". I believe I brought alot to the Chamber and I can definitely say I learned alot. I need to move on so I have the time to do the things I need to do for myself. I am sad to end this little piece of my life. I have met some wonderful people, formed a few friendships, and learned to appreciate all the things that go into running even a small community. One of the most important things to have in a happy life, is a job you enjoy. I can say I've had a few jobs that I've liked and this is probably the one that came the closest to being "me". All the pieces of our lives make up the whole. These pieces make us who we are. Thank God for "pieces". I've always said I would never change my life (maybe a few personal choices) because all those "pieces" are what make us who we are...the good, the bad and the ugly. The bad and the ugly only help to make us stronger and better people. Anyway, soon you'll be hearing that I have hung up another "hat" and I'll be on my journey. Watch for further details....things might get juicey....I may be "old" but I'm not dead!

Friendship

After yesterday's blog I received an email from an old friend. By old, I mean we've been friends for 39 years, not that we are old at 57 (what seems old definitely depends on our own age!). I have talked to, but not seen, this friend in many years but we have a lifetime of history together. After all, we traveled across this great country together, via thumb. We've seen the good, the bad and the ugly together, outside and within ourselves. What a journey that was. I have many true friends and I have found that the definition has nothing to do with what they have done (materially) for you or you have done for them. I have found that a true friend is that person you can lose touch with for a long period of time and suddenly you're in touch and you pick up where you left off. It is as if you just spoke yesterday. These are the friends who have left an imprint on our souls. For whatever reason, they will always be in our hearts. God sent these friends to us for a reason. To my "oldest" true friends (in order from the time we became friends) Dad (with God), Mom (with God), Sandy, Willma, Etta, Tonya, Troy, Pauline (with God), Chris, Bear, Laurie, Teresa, Jessica, Sandy, Rosemary,Lillian (with God), Judy, Pam and yes, even Dale, thank you for being my friends. Knowing each of you has enriched my life. I have learned from each of you and hold you close to my heart.

Those of you still here to read this, please learn the art of "self care". My wise daughter has turned me on to the importance of this. So many of us take care of everyone else and put ourselves last. This is an injustice to our family and friends. We must take care of ourselves first or we won't be around to take care of those we love. We won't be around to make them miserable either, whatever the case may be. Ha Ha! That was supposed to be a funny-laugh.

It is not selfish to take care of yourself and put yourself first. God intended for us to honor, cherish and nurture this sacred vessel that he has lent to us for life on this earth. Most importantly, we are also doing this to enrich our souls. So to each of you, I ask that you take care of yourselves first. There will be plenty of time then for everyone else.
For some guidance, read Cheryl Richardson's, Art of Extreme Self-Care. She is a wonderful speaker and writer.

I know it seems easy for me to say this now that I have all this "free time". I believe God gave me this time to open my eyes. What did working 80 hours a week get me? Probably just further in debt. I still ended up working paycheck to paycheck with not much to show for all my "hard work". I thought so little of my self worth that I worked for free for over a year! Who does that? What was I thinking....just taking care of someone else when I should have been spending that time taking care of Liz. That's okay because I think I'm on the right track now, thanks to lots of wonderful people (you know who you are-take a bow).

To those who aren't on my "oldest friends" list, that means you are a newer friend or I haven't met you yet. Please take care of yourselves because I plan on being around and as Uncle Sam would say "I want you"... on my list. Love and Blessings to all.