Nervous Excitement

In March of 1958 my brother, Rex, and I were adopted. I was 6 1/2 and he had just turned 4. That was 51 years ago this month. In 1993 my brother John who lives in New Jersey was able to perform a miracle and track us down. I had moved to Nebraska about 3 years before and Rex lived in Texas. Rex and I met in St. Louis and flew to New Jersey to meet the family we hadn't seen in 35 years. It was a very exciting time for both of us. My brother John and his family welcomed us with open arms and couldn't have treated us better if they had known us all their lives. My mother was very excited but it would turn out to be a bitter-sweet reunion. Rex stayed for two days and after John and I took him to the airport to fly back home, my mother disappeared. I spent the balance of my two week vacation doing a lot of thinking and soul searching. It was a very sad and disappointing time in my life. As a mother, I could never imagine anything that would let me give up my children and I certainly couldn't imagine giving up the chance to reconnect with them if I had lost them. In my mind I knew it wasn't our fault but in my heart I couldn't help but wonder what we had done to make our mother not want us. Since that visit in 1993 I have been back twice. Both times were to take care of my adopted father who had cancer (my adopted mother passed away when I was 27). My father and I were always very close and no one could have had a better Dad. During this time my visits to my mother were sporadic and short and all went fairly well. That last visit was 12 years ago.


On March 14th, my grand daughter, Serenity and I are going to make a trip. I am taking Serenity to meet my family for the first time. I am crossing my fingers and praying for no histrionics on my mother's part. Prayers are needed

Serenity and I will have a good time and I relish this time with her. She loves her Grandma bunches and needless to say, her grandma loves her with all her heart. Wish us luck.
Blessings to all.